Some Stupid Bastard At Hulu Just Passed On Locke & Key

Boy, this really chaps my ass. You can get 40 execs to all greenlight some recycled horseshit we've seen 1000 times before (wait a minute guys... what if the girl wears glasses, and is quirky? Eh? Ehhhhh? Eh??), but toss a new idea into the ring and everyone dumps in their pants, then excuses themselves to the restroom. You got that backwards, dummies.

If you don't know, prepare to know; Locke and Key is an amazing graphic novel series written by Joe Hill, Stephen King's son. I've read everything he's written, both books and novels, and Locke and Key is by far his best stuff. L&K spans generations and decades, but mostly focuses on the Locke family in the present. The story begins during the American Revolution, where a group of Rebels are hiding beneath the future Keyhouse, the sprawling home the Locke family will eventually live in. Underground, a portal to another dimension is discovered, but it's full of demons who can mesmerize anyone who looks at them, and possess anyone who touches them. However, without touching someone, any demon who enters the real world becomes inert metal, so Benjamin Locke uses the metal to forge a variety of magical keys, including the Omega Key, which seals the entrance to the dimension.

The magic of the Keyhouse gradually evolves over the years, including a spell which causes occupants to forget about the keys and the magic of the house when they pass their 18th birthday. In 1988, a group of teenagers, having used the keys extensively in their high school years for fun and personal gain (but in a harmless way), decide to open the black door with the Omega Key, hoping to trick a demon into entering the real world in order to provide more metal with which to make more keys. This is where things go very, very bad.


If this sounds confusing, it isn't and I promise you, it's awesome. It's touching, gory, brutal, sweet and scary. It's an amazing series that follows a kind of "sins of the father" plotline, and has amazing, inventive ideas that come out of nowhere. But does Hulu care? No, they don't. Director Andy Muschietti‘s did a pilot of the show, and Hulu said no, so now they are shopping it elsewhere. I would love to get my hands on that pilot, and see what we got, although maybe I am being too hasty; I was pretty pissed when no one jumped on Preacher, and I think that show sucks. 

Locke and Key premieres on no network, at no time, and may God have mercy on our souls.